I’m Lily,
That’s not my real name of course, that would defeat the purpose of being anonymous.
My blog used to be public but now…
not so much.
I’m a Christian, a wife, mum, daughter, sister and friend amongst other things.
I love coffee, my family and laughter.
I’m coming to value quiet time.
Sometimes I swear, not too much but sometimes, especially when I’m anonymous and only since becoming a Mum. Deal with it.
I’m trying to find ways to connect with God that aren’t limited to the “introverted, white middle aged male” experience. I don’t journal, I don’t sit quietly with God for the mandatory 30minutes a day (in the morning, of course) and I don’t read my Bible as often as I “should” but I do experience the God of the Bible in real, personal, significant ways every single day of my life.
I’m churched and the Word is part of my life…just not in a structured way. I want to be open to God and to the work of the Holy Spirit in new and surprising ways. I am learning how…
We don’t go to church regularly at the moment and it grieves me deeply. I long for a place for us, a place for me to connect with other Christian women and to journey with them. A place for my daughter to belong, to be loved and to love, and to hear from people other than her dad and me, how great Jesus’ love is for her.
We had a church but we had to leave. It was a painful road to walk but after persevering there for years we became convinced that it was the only godly decision remaining to us. We no longer live in the Bible belt and finding a church where we connect with God, hear the Word preached faithfully and has a place for our daughter, or at least a service amenable to small children (ie not 2 hours long) has been really hard. I’ve never had to look for a church before. It sucks.
But God is teaching us. And He is with us.
I work. For a Christian organisation no less. I both love it and find it desperately hard.
I didn’t want to go back to work but I needed to…at least for a while. This job has been a total God thing and there’s so much about it that I just love. And am good at.
It’s just I want to be at home with the kiddo.
In reality, I am home with her. I work 3 days a week, 2 from home and on the third day she is with one of our closest friends who has 4 children, the youngest of whom is only a year older than she. I say this often. I don’t know who I’m trying to convince more – you, or me.
Oh, the kiddo’s name is Charlie by the way.
I miss her when I’m not with her and I long for that season of 'home' to come. And maybe this time to stay.
It’s on it’s way, God willing. I’m 6 weeks pregnant at the moment. I’m simultaneously excited and nervous. Will it be my turn to be a statistic? I love this baby already and desperately hope and pray for it's safety in my womb and then, in this world. We're only at the beginning of our road together...
So this is me. It's nice to meet you.
